Web Introduction
SexyPorn,akaYourPorn.sexy(notyouporn.sexy),isaprettygoodnameforapage,right?Youreallywanttoletpeopleknowthatyouhavethehottestmoviesonyoursitewiththisdomain,right?That'sgood.Ilovehowboldthepersonwhocameupwiththispagenamewas.However,itraisesaquestion.Arethemoviesherethatgreat?Well,there'sonlyonewaytofindthatout,so,we'regoingtodiveintoYourPornSexyandseewhatkindofcontentishidinginside!FirstImpressionsSo,whenyouopenthepage,you'llnoticethatthedesignofSxyprnisprettydecent.Imean,it'snotassimpleasIwouldhavelikedittobe,butitstillgetsthejobdone-blackbackgroundwiththenamesofthethumbnailsandtitletags.Notmanycolorshere.Black,whiteandorangeisallyouseeonthepage.Forsomereason,thisalsoappliestothemoviesonSexyPorn(YourPorn).Well,thereareno"orange"peopleinporn,unlessDonnyTrumpboughtBrazzersanddecidedtoshowhispenisonenightandIdidn'tnoticeit.However,there'snowayThePornDudewouldmisssomethinglikethis.Imean,thiskindofthingwouldliterallybreaktheinternet.But,whatyouseeonthehomepagearebasically"normal"whiteonwhitevideos,aswellasvideosofwhitepeoplefuckingblackgirlsandvideosofblackpeoplefuckingwhitegirls.Iguessthat'swhattheguysatSexyPorn(YourPorn)like.Infact,that'sexactlywhattheylike.Thesevideosarefoundinasectionofthehomepage,whichiscalledthePornWall.ThePornWall,ortheGreatWallofYourPorn,aswe'llcallitfromnowon(becauseournamesarecooler,obviously),isfilledwiththe24hottestvideosoftheentiresiteinthepastfewhours.Keepscrollingdownandyou'llseethatthissectiontakesuptheentirehomepage,literally.However,thereareafewmoresectionsbelowthisone,buttheyonlytakeupalittlebitofspace,sothey'rebarelynoticeable.TheWeakFirstup,youhavetheTopPornStarsSubssection,whichshowsyouthemostpopularpornstarsonthesite.Asexpected,LanaRhoadesisshownatthetopofthelist,followedbyMiaMalkova.You'llseealotofdifferentwell-knownpornstarsrankedafterthesetwo,butwedon'treallyneedtomentionthem.Belowthissection,therearetheTopSubs,andhereyou'llseewhatkindofsitesthepeopleatSxyprn.com(YourPorn.sexy)liketowatch.Damn,youpeoplereallywanttofuckyourfamily,don'tyou?Seriously,whatyouseeonthislistaresitesdedicatedtopornmoviesfeaturingstepmomsandstepdadsfuckingtheir"offspring".SomebodybringFloydbackfromthedeadandtellhimthatthecocainehedidwasfuckingworthitbecausehegotitallright.So,atthetopofthelistwefind"SisterLovesMe"and"FamilyTricks",thesearefollowedby"AssParade"and"BangBus",then"NewSensations","GirlsDoPorn"andsoon.So,noclassification?Whilecategoriesdon'ttechnicallyexistonthissite,theystilltechnicallyexist.However,actualcategoriesaren'tusedhere;instead,a"tag"systemisused.Thesetagsarebasicallytagslikeanyotherpornsiteontheinternet.Soyoucanseethatthereare25,000videostaggedwith"anal,"whilethebigtitstaghasawhopping27,000videos.Youshouldknowthatthereare32categorieshere,andforsomereasonsomeofthemaren'tevenrealcategories.Imean,okay,notexactly,butyougetfootjobvideosthattakeuptwotabsforsomereason,whichisweird.Dopeoplelikefeetsomuchthattheyneedtwotabs?Well,twotabsfortwofeet,Iguess.Bythatlogic,shouldn'ttherebetwotabsfortheBigTitssubcategory?PlayerWell,thegoodthingaboutthisplayeristhatitdoesn'ttakemuchtimetoloadavideo,anditplaysthosevideosinhighdefinition.However,theproblemquicklybecomesapparentwhenyoutrytoplayavideo,becauseyouwillmostlikelybeconfrontedwithanadwhenyoutrytoplayavideo.It'srarelyasinglead.Instead,it'smultipleadscrowdingthescreen,interruptingyourlife,andhonestly,it'sprettybad.Itputsastrainonyourmemoryandmessesupyourlovelybraintoo,andsometimesitjustisn'tworthit.Someimportantinformationaboutthepornmovieyouwanttowatchislistedjustbelowthenamedplayer,thiswouldbetheageofthevideo,itsviews,andofcourse,youcanseetherating.Also,youmightwanttodownloadsomeofthesemovies,andobviouslysinceit'sfree,you'regoingtodownloadsomeofthem.Ishouldhavementionedthisoptionearlierinthearticlebecauseit'ssogreat.Imean,justlistentoit.It'sfree,andit'sfull-lengthporn,it'sHD,andit'sfromthesamestudiosthatwouldchargeyoustupidmoneytowatchtenminutesoftheiroverratedporn.Whatagreatthingitisfromsomanyperspectives.Youhavetoadmitit!Ialsowanttosaythattheseadsreallyannoyme,andthereareseveraltypesofadsthatexisthere.SomuchsothatIwanttowriteawholeparagraphjustaboutads.Youguessedit,it'sanad.I'mnotkidding!Sincetheseadsannoymesomuch,I'mgoingtodedicateafewlinestotheselittleassholes,becausetheydeserveit,IsweartoGod.You'llseethattheystartpoppinguponthehomepagethemomentyouenterSexyPorn(YourPorn).Andthesearen'tjustyouraveragecheesyads.Thesesonsofbitchesmovearoundandhavealittlexinthetoprightcornerofthem,andifyoumanagetoclickonthewrongpost,notonlywilltheadopenupliketheotherthree,butitstaysinthesamespotandwon'tgoaway.EvenifyoumanagetoclicktheXbutton,theystillopenupwithacoupleofsmalladsthatonlygoawayifyoubombardthemwithclickingtheXbutton.Ijustwanttoignoretheseassholes,butyoucan'tbecausetheyhoveroverthethumbnails.DidImentionthatwhenyouhoveroverathumbnailwithyourcursor,asmallpreviewstartsplaying?That'snice,Iguess.TherestofYourPornUpuntilnow,we'veonlydiscussedthehomepageandprettymuchnothingelse.However,thisiswhereeverythingchanges.WementionedothersectionsofSexyPorn(YouPorn)(oftenmisspelledas"YourPornSexy,""YouPornSexy,""YouPornSexy,""yourporn/sexy,"and"yourporn.com")thatarefarlessinterestingthanthehomepageandthesectionsyoumostlikelywon'tevenuse.Sofirstup,wehaveaheadertabcalled"Live,"andifyouclickonthat,yougetalivestreamofporn.Notcamgirlsoranythinglikethat,butusuallycastingvideosandstufflikethat.Thepornpicturessectionisprettyself-explanatory.Someofuslikevideos,someofuslikepicturesofnakedchicks(anddudes).So,thoseofyouwhopreferpicturesovervideosshouldgoforthissection.Now,onesectionofthissitecaughtmyattention,andthatistheTorrentssection.Ofcourse,youwanttoknowwhat'ssospecialaboutthissection?Well,anyvideoyouseetherecanbedownloaded.AtruepornparadiseThissite,likeDaftSex,ispackedwithtonsandtonsofgreatfreevideosthatarebetween5and40minuteslong.Pornwithstories,even!Noneofthatboring,pointlesspounding,andthere'satonofgirlcontenthere,too.Doyouwanttowatchagirlcumafteraguylicksherpussyfor20minutes?They'vegotyoucovered,girl!
