Angry Bangers
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AngryBangers!Whatdoyougetwhenyoucombinegangsters,gunfights,bankrobberies,andnakedchicks?Thedomainnamesoundslikeasummermovieyou'dpay$20toseeatthetheater,butinreality,AngryBangersismoreinteractivethanthatandalotcheaper.AngryBangers.comwasfoundedinNovember2019.Thesitetookoffassoonasitwentonline,andbyFebruary2024,theyhadmorethan10millionvisitorspermonth.It'saweb-basedgameandit'sfree,soIcouldn'twaittotryitout.Doitangrily,doithard,doitnowTobehonest,whensomeonesentmethelinktoAngryBangersthismorning,Ihadnoideaitwasagame.Ithoughtitwasapaysiteforrevengeporn,likepornstarspretendingtofuckbig-dickedblackguystogetbackattheirboyfriends.IwasabittakenabackbytherealisticbustyCGbitchesandCGweapons,butIwasn'tdisappointed.Thegraphicslookreallyniceandthegirlshavebigtits,butifitweren'tfortheexposedtits,IwouldhavethoughtitwasanotherM-ratedPS4gameforteenagers.However,afterseeingthescreenshots,Iknewitwasagameforadultsonly.Thefirstone,theoneyouseewhenyoulandonthesite,isabigtittedgirlinatinydresswithtwoguns.Thesecondone,whichyouhavetoclickon,showsthesamegirlbeingfuckedbytwoguys.Otherscreenshotsshowthechickfuckingincowgirlandsuckingtwoguysatonce.Thelatterimageislitteredwithbrighticonsshowingthedamageandaccuracyofherknifeweaponandherremaininghealth.ItlooksalotlikeGrandTheftAuto,butthosethingsfacingherfacearen'tguns.OtherimagesfurtherreinforcetheGrandTheftAutovibe:oneshowsagirlinapinkminiskirtholdingapinkmachinegun,withamessagethatresemblesamissioninstructionnexttoher,andanothershowsaroulettewheelandadealerofferingyoua"freespin."Thoseneoniconsnearthebottomofthepagepromiseusershigh-endgraphics,epicPVPbattles,tonsofcharacters,120guns,75vehicles,and55uniqueskills.Oh,andsomegreat3Dpornscenes.Itsoundslikethisgamehasallthemakingsofablockbuster,whichmeansI'mgoingtohitthatstartbuttonrightnow.CGIgangbangsexandintenseturn-basedcombatThegame'sloadingscreenfeaturesmorehardcoreporn,butthistimeit'salargergangbang.Thegamedoesn'ttakelongtoload,butyou'llbewaitingforafewminuteswhiletheloadingbarshowsyouthingslikesharpeningknives,cleaningguns,stretchingfists,andbribingcops.Meanwhile,youcanenjoywatchingthepurple-hairedbeautygettingfuckedfrombehind.Afterloading,thesitegivesyouthechoiceofplayingasaguestorlogginginasauser.Idon’tseeasign-upbuttononthehomepage,soIguessI’maguest.Ilikethefactthatitshowsanoldguysurroundedbytwohotchicks.TheoldguyiswearingonlyAmericanflagbriefsandaflasherjacket.Thegamewillthencontinuetoload,andyouwillseeaveryprofessionalCGpornvideoopeninganimation.Atthebeginningofthegame,therewillbeashort-hairedgirlexplainingtoyouhowtocommandyourgangmemberstofight.Arrowsonthescreenwillguideyouthroughthisfirstbattle,andyou'llfindthatthisisaturn-basedstrategygame.Theentirebattletakesplaceonachessboard,andeachplayertakesturnscontrollingtheircharacter'smovementandattacksbyspendingpoints.Thecharactersonthisscreenarerelativelysmall,andcomparedtothe3Dscreensonthehomepage,thisscreenisnotformasturbating.Aftermycharacterandmybigtittychickstakeoutsomeidiots,Igettoavictoryscenewhereaguycumsinonechick’spussywhiletwootherchicksmasturbate.Damn,beingagangsterisawesome.Let'sfightandfuckmoreBeforethesecondbattlebegins,thegameintroducesmetoanewgangsterchickwhojoinsmyteam.WethengotothestoreandthegameletsmebuysomegrenadeswiththemoneyIgotfromkillingthoseidiotsearlier.Thistimethemissionwasabankrobbery,andapparentlymyidioticgangmembershadn'tscoutedtheplacebeforehand,becauseitwasfilledwithcops.Atleast,that'swhattheon-screentextsaid.Ithinktherewasamisunderstanding.InoticedsomebrokenEnglishearlier,andthecopsIsawnowalllookedlikeabunchofthugs,withablackchickinhighheelsandabikiniinthemiddle.Iblewthemupwithagrenade,whoevertheywere.Then,oneofthegirlsonmyteamjustranupandcutoneofthemdownwithasword,whichwasherspecialability.Thebadguysfoughtback,andtheywereespeciallybadatmygirlintheplaidskirt.There'sanamazingamountofdepthtothegameplay.Whiletheenemiesintheearlybattlesareprettyeasytodealwith,mainlytogetyoufamiliarwiththegame,it'sclearthatasyouprogressthroughthegame,eachbattlewillrequiremoreplanningandstrategy.Likemanygoodstrategygames,eachcharacterhasdifferentattributesandattacks,andofcourse,apairofbigtits.Ithinkwewonintheend.Afterwekilledallthebadguys,Isawacutscenewithabunchofpoliceofficerswhiletryingtoenterthebank.WhenIreturnedtothebigmap,anoldwomantoldmethatIwasunderarrest,buttheFBIwaslookingforarecklessguylikemetomakeadeal.Ihopetheyaretalkingaboutfemalebodyprosecutors.Thegameisfree,butifyou'rewillingtospendmoney...Ithenplayedatraininglevel,killingfourmembersofarivalganginahostileclub.Theyrewardedmewithadroneandsomemoney,andthenthevictoryscreenIhadseenbefore.Thegametheninstructedmetospendthemoneyonattackupgradesformygirls.Therearealotoftutorialsintheearlystagesofthisgame,becauseitisarelativelycomplexgameafterall.Afterthefirstupgrade,theyletmeupgradeanotherone.Thistime,IhadaproblembecauseIdidn'thaveenoughexperiencepointsorcoins.Thiswasabitdisappointing,butluckily,youcanbuyin-gamecoinswithrealmoney.Iknewtherewerein-apppurchasesbeforeIevenloadedupthegame,andifyou'refamiliarwithfreeonlineporngames,you'dhaveguessedit.Thegimmicksthegameusedtotrickmeintospendingmoneyalmostmademelaughoutloud,"Youshouldupgradethischick.Oops!Youseemtobealittleshortonmoney,butwecaneasilyfixthat..."Youcanalsobuyin-gamegoldwithrealmoney,thenusethatgoldtobuyin-gamecurrency.It'salittlecomplicated,butIthinkIgotthepointacross.Ifyou'reconfused,you'remorelikelytospendmoneyonafree-to-playgame.Seriously,Iwanttoseemorepost-battlepornscenesThegamewasfuntoplay,butthepornographywasn'tenoughtoconvincemetopartwiththemoney.Istartedthenextbattlewithoutbuyinganythinginthestore,butIstillwon."Go!"thegirlinmygangyelled,shootingheropponent.Theenemyfelltothegrounddead,mygirlsmiled,andthenIsawtheCGanimationvictoryscreenagain.MyrewardthistimewasthegirlinthepinkskirtandthepinkmachinegunIsawontheloginpage,andsomein-gamecurrency.BeforeIstartedthenextmission,AngryBangersofferedmearidiculousdeal.Afull-screenadsaidIcouldbuyanAbramstankwithveryhighstats,plusalotofin-gamecurrencyandgold.Howmuch?Just$100,realmoney.AfterIdeclined,theytriedtosellmeasimilarsportscarpackagefor$25.AfterIdeclinedagain,theytriedtosellmeahatchbackpackagefor$2.Fuckoff.Istillhaven'tseenthe"AstonMarino"thatwassupposedtobeinmygarage.Asanadultgame,AngryBangersisaprettygoodgame.Ifyouliketwistedgangster-themedturn-basedstrategygames,thisisthegametokeepyouinterested.Thepornrewardsareabitsparse,whichmakesmehesitatetospendmoneyonit,butasafreegame,it'sagoodwaytokilltime.Best 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