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Ifyou'reanythinglikeme,everytimeyouseeatraditionalpopulistfilmyoufindyourselfthinkinghowmuchbetteritwouldbeifeveryonejusthadsexthewholetime.Ican'tthinkofasinglefilmsincetheadventofcinemathatwouldn'tbenoticeablyimprovedifeveryonewasnakedandhavingsexwitheachotherfromtheopeningtotheclosingcredits.PushittothelimitIknowwhat'sgoingthroughyourheadrightnow.WhenImakeaboldclaimlikethis,everyoneasksthisquestion:WhataboutSchindler'sList?Myresponseisalways,"WhataboutSchindler'sList?Don'tyouthinkitwouldbebetterwithsometitsandass?"Ofcourse,itwould.BoobsaretheonlythingthatcanbrightenamovieabouttheHolocaust.I'maglasshalffullperson.Whenlifehandsmelemons,Icreatelemonadethroughastrictscheduleofselfiesandsexwithsluts.Thisstrategyhasyettofailme.Myanswertoeveryprobleminlifeismoreorgasms.IfyouthinkSchindlerwasn'tengaginginphysicalintercoursewhilewritingouthislist?Youmustbeadamnidiotandhalf-idiot.Schindlerhadaccesstomorepussythanonemancouldhandle.Hewasahero.Bitcheslovefuckingheroes.I'msurprisedtheconstantflowdidn'tcompletelyruinhisplans.IwouldhavetotallyforgottenWWIIhappened.Noneedtosaymore.Ialreadyknowwhatyournextquestionisandrightlyso,Rootwouldbealotbetterifitwasfuckedmore.Youallknowhowhotthemasterandslaverelationshipcanbe.Ihavefuckedmanyslaveslutsinmyday.Ihaveafewofthemlockedinthebasementaswespeak.Haven'tyouidiotseverheardofBDSM?"Roots"isalreadythreequartersporn.Theonlythingthatruinstheatmosphereisthecostumesandhistoricalbackground."Roots"hasallthehallmarksofBDSMporn:whips,chains,captivity,andforcedlabor.Justthinkingaboutitgivesmeathrobbinghard-on.Holyfuck.IsuddenlyunderstandwhyIgetanerectioneverytimeIwatchStarTrek:TheNextGeneration.BlackfishisasgoodasblackchickenYouguysareprobablyhavingaweirdfeelingrightnowbecauseyoudon'twanttoagreewithme,butmypointisbrilliant.You'researchingyourlittlemonkeybrainsforanexample.Ican'tmakeitbetterwithapussy.Thesmartestofyouareprobablythinkingaboutdocumentaries.IfyouthinkIdidn'tjerkoffwhilewatchingthe2013mind-bendingexposé"Blackfish,"youdon'tknowme.OfcourseIdid.Icametwiceduringthemovieandonceduringtheendcredits.Haveyoueverseenakillerwhale'scockinperson?Thosesonsofbitchesareinluck.IhavephonenumbersofprostitutesonmyphonewhowouldlovetocrawlintoSeaWorld'skillerwhaleenclosureandgivethoseguysanighttoremember.Captivekillerwhalesliveinamiserableandlonelyenvironment.Ahumanpussywouldbearare,invitedtreat.IfIwasstuckinatinycagemywholelife,Iwouldspendallmytimestranglingchickens,waitingforahumantrainertoarrivesoIcouldfuckthemtodeath.I'msorry?Whatthefuckdidyoujustsaytome?HowdareyousayIcan'tspitonnewscoverageoftheVietnamWar?Howthefuckdoyousaythat.I'mamanofprinciple.IfIcouldn'tspitonwarcoverage,Iwouldn'tbewastingmytimemakingyoureadthesearticles.Tobehonest,theonlyreasonIpayattentiontocurrenteventsisbecausesmutnewsisathing.Aslongasthenewscasterisahotnakedbitch,I'mfinewithwatchingthenews.Ifitwasn'tforaslutdoingthenewswhileridingagiantstuntcock,Istillwouldn'tknowwhat9/11was.Atthispoint,yourmindisgraspingatstrawsasitdesperatelytriestocomeupwithsomeshitthatIwon'tbeatmyfleshwith.It'simpossible.I'mgoingtoendthisrantbystatingthis:Youdon'thavetoturnsnotfilmsintoporn,becausethey'realreadyporn.IthinkatthispointIhavemademypointloudandclear.Icanstrokemypenistoanything.That'swhyIlovehorrorcontentsomuch.SometimesIneedtheextrathrillofbloodandgutstomaximizemypleasureinabeat.Somuchporn,solittletimeWhichbringsmetoScrolller.Scrolllerdoesn'tjustdoporn,butitdoesitwell.Asthenamesuggests,Scrolllermakesscrollingthroughpornfun,easy,andeffective.Thesitelooksandfunctionsverysleekly.ItadoptslayoutandformattingprinciplesfromappslikeInstagramandTwitter.ThismakessenseconsideringallthecontentiseitherimagesorGIFs.Scrolllerhasadrop-downnavigationmenuatthetopwithoptionslikeHome,Favorites,Following,Leaderboards,Search,InstallApps,Categories,Community,GetDeals,andAbout.Thesesimpletoolsareenoughtogetyouthroughthesite.BelowthetitleisamenuofhorrorcontentwithoptionslikeFollow,Category,Filter,Sources,andShare.YoucansortthecontentbyRandom,Top,Popular,New,andRising.YoucanfilterbyNone,Images,Videos,andAlbums.Don'tignorethatsharebutton.MyfamilylovestostayuptodateonallthefunstuffI'mupto.IhaveaFaceBookfullofoldfriends,classmates,andcoworkerswhorelyonmeforthebestsocialmediapornrecommendations.The"Source"buttontakesyoutothesubredditpagethatthiscontentcamefrom.YoucanviewthisshitdirectlyonReddit,butScrolllermakesiteasytoseeasmuchhorrorpornaspossibleintheshortestamountoftime.NotevenRedditcancompete.Theonlythingthatneedstobediscussedistheinfiniteamountofcontentyoucanscrollthrough.Youcanwanderaroundthisplaceuntilyourdamnhandsdecidetocommitsuicideduetoextremefatigue.Infact,bothofyourhandswilldoso,asonehandwillbeworkingonthekeyboardwhiletheotheriswickedlygivingyourpenisahandjob.Tomakeiteasierforyoutowatch,anyGIFonscreenwillautomaticallystartplayingwithoutyouhavingtohitaplaybutton.Thethumbnailsarelargeenoughtowatchstraightaway,butyoucanwatchthemfullscreenfortheultimateexperience.WhenyouopenaGIF,youhavetheoptiontoturnupthevolume.There'salsoalittlemenuwhereyoucandownload,share,favorite,andvisitthesource.Thesewillplayoverandoveruntilyourdepravedlittleheartcanhandleitall.WhatYou’llFindLet'stalkaboutsomeofthethingsyou'llseeinthehorrorcontentonScrolller.Firstofall,you'llseetonsofscreenshotsandclipsfromhorrormovieswithnudescenes.Allyourfavoritepeoplearehere,andtheyallhavegrade-Atits.Theywerehiredforareason,andit'snottheiractingskills.Therearealsotonsofhornybigtittygothgirlfriendsoutthere.Itdoesn'tmatterifyou'reapreppyoranathlete.Everybodywantsabigtittygothgirlfriend.They'rethebesttofuck,andtheyneversayno.Thesebitcheswilldoanythingtomakeyoucumhard.Someofthesegothcuntsdomorethanjustdressinblackandshowofftheirincrediblebodies.Sometakeitastepfurtherandcoverthemselvesinbloodandgutslikethey'vejustbeenmurdered.AnyonewithagorefetishwillfindahomeonScrolller.Ican'tforgetallthesexyHalloweencostumesthatarealloverScrolller.OnceOctoberarrives,youspendtheentiredayhavingsexinScrolller'shorrorzone.You'llhavesexsooftenandsohardthatonlybloodwillflow.Ifeeltheneedtotellyouthatthereisatleastonepictureofachickwithatattooonherasshole.Thatbitchmustbeonehundredpercentcertifiableinsane.Howdoyoukeepthatthingfromgettinghorriblyinfected?It'sanopenwoundwhereyourshitisgoingtocomeout.Thatsoundslikearecipeforastaff,gangrene,andflesh-eatingdisease.However,Iwouldabsolutelyfuckabitchwithatattooonherasshole.Shewouldgototheendsoftheearthandbackagaintomakeyoucum.That'slove.Scrolllerisoneofthemosteffectivewaystogethorrorporn.Don'twasteyourtimeonothersitesbecauseyoucanbrowsethecontentquicklyonScrolller.What'stheretocomplainaboutonScrolller?Nothing.Iguessthere'sabitoffluffthatsneaksinoccasionally,butthat'stobeexpected.Ihopeyouassholesaren'tpronetomyelitis,becauseyouhavealotofworktodoonScrolller.

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